The whole book, in order
All 154 poems, every one of them written. Each is titled as it is titled in the book, numbered after the Shakespeare sonnet it answers, and given its length in lines.
Twenty of them can be read here. The rest are written but not shown, so the plain tiles name a poem without opening it. The twenty were chosen to carry the arc of the whole thing, from Sensing to Accepting.
Part I. Sensing
Sensing that something is not quite right.
Enormous Creatures
I
Forty Winters
II
33 lines
I Search in your Smile
III
32 lines
Wasted Beauty
IV
17 lines
The Mirage of a Brother
V
26 lines
Happy with their One God
VI
35 lines
Even You Could Become Anew
VII
23 lines
If Music is for Listening, Why is it so Hard to Hear?
VIII
32 lines
The Small Gods of Love
CLIV
17 lines
I invite Intemperate Sadness
CLIII
24 lines
I love to Judge You, More than Love You
CLII
31 lines
Because I stalk myself, I am Stalked
CLI
28 lines
Geologically, I will Dig my Love into You
CL
23 lines
In your Cruelty, You cannot Decide
CXLIX
28 lines
Love is Closer than it Appears
CXLVIII
My Love is like a Fever
CXLVII
We will Leave to Death such a Taste!
CXLVI
24 lines
Forty Winters
II
33 lines
I Search in your Smile
III
32 lines
Wasted Beauty
IV
17 lines
The Mirage of a Brother
V
26 lines
Happy with their One God
VI
35 lines
Even You Could Become Anew
VII
23 lines
If Music is for Listening, Why is it so Hard to Hear?
VIII
32 lines
The Small Gods of Love
CLIV
17 lines
I invite Intemperate Sadness
CLIII
24 lines
I love to Judge You, More than Love You
CLII
31 lines
Because I stalk myself, I am Stalked
CLI
28 lines
Geologically, I will Dig my Love into You
CL
23 lines
In your Cruelty, You cannot Decide
CXLIX
28 lines
Love is Closer than it Appears
CXLVIII
My Love is like a Fever
CXLVII
We will Leave to Death such a Taste!
CXLVI
24 lines
17 poems · 3 readable here · 14 not shown here
Part II. Knowing
Knowing my life has been a lie.
My Hands Move my Lips
CXLV
My Two Loves
CXLIV
22 lines
Love is but a Mirror
CXLII
30 lines
This Circus of Sensations had two Masters
CXLI
32 lines
I will be the Far Baby
CXLIII
26 lines
I know how Cruel you can be
CXL
31 lines
Please don't Call Me
CXXXIX
22 lines
So Vainly did you Make me Believe I was Young
CXXXVIII
19 lines
Such Glitter, Love! You have Thrown in my Eyes!
CXXXVII
30 lines
To Say your Name
CXXXVI
31 lines
Not to be Cruel, But I Beseech your Suicide
CXXXV
31 lines
Virtue Dictates a Vernacular
CXXXIV
33 lines
Must you Chain me to Friendship
CXXXIII
If you could Know even Half of Yourself
CXXXII
27 lines
The Depth of your Hell
CXXXI
23 lines
He Saw a Rose Unfenced
CXXX
28 lines
Love should Last a Comet's Life
IX
33 lines
This is the Real You
X
35 lines
The Cold that had Frozen us Together
XI
33 lines
Your Light was Only for Another
XIII
32 lines
My Astronomy was Poor
XIV
28 lines
Love's Game against Time
XV
25 lines
This Tablet is but a Tomb
XVII
26 lines
The Life we had Together
XVIII
I X-out Days on the Calendar
XII
Why could there not have been a Stronger Way?
XVI
24 lines
Could you just Admit the Atrocity?
XIX
22 lines
Like a Balloon upon a Razor Wire
XX
35 lines
Alas my Poor Salesmanship
XXI
25 lines
My Glass Fills with Time
XXII
26 lines
I Wish you could have Understood my Love
XXIII
23 lines
I Savagely Sigh
XXIV
21 lines
I will not Leave What you Left
XXV
20 lines
I can only Dare myself to be Lovable
XXVI
30 lines
A Day will come when I am Whole
XXVII
29 lines
How can I be Happy Again?
XXVIII
26 lines
What Simple Joys would Satisfy Me
XXIX
25 lines
What I've had to Pay to be Free of You
XXX
24 lines
You Think he can Give you All I Gave?
XXXI
37 lines
We had Solved the Two-body Problem
XXXII
You Saw the Peaks Flatten at the Clouds
XXXIII
28 lines
How can you still Promise me a Sunrise?
XXXIV
20 lines
I no longer Feel what you've Done
XXXV
22 lines
Even the Strongest Wire will Sag with Distance
XXXVI
23 lines
Cause of him I Spend my Fortune
XXXVII
29 lines
More Weight! Says the Road to the Car of Life
L
28 lines
You are in my Thoughts
LXXV
32 lines
My Two Loves
CXLIV
22 lines
Love is but a Mirror
CXLII
30 lines
This Circus of Sensations had two Masters
CXLI
32 lines
I will be the Far Baby
CXLIII
26 lines
I know how Cruel you can be
CXL
31 lines
Please don't Call Me
CXXXIX
22 lines
So Vainly did you Make me Believe I was Young
CXXXVIII
19 lines
Such Glitter, Love! You have Thrown in my Eyes!
CXXXVII
30 lines
To Say your Name
CXXXVI
31 lines
Not to be Cruel, But I Beseech your Suicide
CXXXV
31 lines
Virtue Dictates a Vernacular
CXXXIV
33 lines
Must you Chain me to Friendship
CXXXIII
If you could Know even Half of Yourself
CXXXII
27 lines
The Depth of your Hell
CXXXI
23 lines
He Saw a Rose Unfenced
CXXX
28 lines
Love should Last a Comet's Life
IX
33 lines
This is the Real You
X
35 lines
The Cold that had Frozen us Together
XI
33 lines
Your Light was Only for Another
XIII
32 lines
My Astronomy was Poor
XIV
28 lines
Love's Game against Time
XV
25 lines
This Tablet is but a Tomb
XVII
26 lines
The Life we had Together
XVIII
I X-out Days on the Calendar
XII
Why could there not have been a Stronger Way?
XVI
24 lines
Could you just Admit the Atrocity?
XIX
22 lines
Like a Balloon upon a Razor Wire
XX
35 lines
Alas my Poor Salesmanship
XXI
25 lines
My Glass Fills with Time
XXII
26 lines
I Wish you could have Understood my Love
XXIII
23 lines
I Savagely Sigh
XXIV
21 lines
I will not Leave What you Left
XXV
20 lines
I can only Dare myself to be Lovable
XXVI
30 lines
A Day will come when I am Whole
XXVII
29 lines
How can I be Happy Again?
XXVIII
26 lines
What Simple Joys would Satisfy Me
XXIX
25 lines
What I've had to Pay to be Free of You
XXX
24 lines
You Think he can Give you All I Gave?
XXXI
37 lines
We had Solved the Two-body Problem
XXXII
You Saw the Peaks Flatten at the Clouds
XXXIII
28 lines
How can you still Promise me a Sunrise?
XXXIV
20 lines
I no longer Feel what you've Done
XXXV
22 lines
Even the Strongest Wire will Sag with Distance
XXXVI
23 lines
Cause of him I Spend my Fortune
XXXVII
29 lines
More Weight! Says the Road to the Car of Life
L
28 lines
You are in my Thoughts
LXXV
32 lines
47 poems · 5 readable here · 42 not shown here
Part III. Recovering
Recovering from the betrayal and trying to move on.
How could You be my Muse?
XXXVIII
How do you Think of Time? Is it being Gained or Lost?
XXXIX
29 lines
You Refused to Share my Taste
XL
26 lines
If only I could but Feel
XLI
28 lines
How Lost in Old Love am I
XLII
25 lines
When I Replace you with Another
XLIII
26 lines
I would Happily Catch You
XLIV
32 lines
Hunting Death but only Hitting Melancholy
XLV
My Eyes and Heart
XLVI
27 lines
The Far Love we Share
XLVII
22 lines
You Push me to the Left of my Lies
XLVIII
28 lines
Gravity will have a Reason to be Restored
XLIX
26 lines
Love is a slow delight
LI
23 lines
I'll Give Myself Hope
LII
29 lines
There is always a Shadow
LIII
20 lines
There will be no Roses for You
LIV
23 lines
Death will take Notice
LV
26 lines
Oh the Days I Invested
LVI
35 lines
Oh to be a Slave
LVII
30 lines
What Goddess would not Want
LVIII
32 lines
What could I have Known Before?
LIX
23 lines
Hope is True
LX
30 lines
When I See your Greens, My Blues End
LXI
23 lines
I have to Masturbate
LXII
27 lines
I'd Stopped Thinking altogether of Love
LXIII
This Moment came and took my Brother
LXIV
21 lines
Rage can be Beautiful, But only Stronger than a Flower
LXV
24 lines
We will Hold on to What we Had
LXVII
28 lines
If Art Speaks with Authority, Can Madness not be a Skill?
LXVI
25 lines
My Face is a Map of Time
LXVIII
24 lines
I Believe in a Common Belief
LXIX
24 lines
What you're Accused of is not your Greatest Defect
LXX
27 lines
No Need to Cry at my Passing
LXXI
20 lines
We Read off the Weight of the World
LXXII
20 lines
I see You
LXXIII
31 lines
To be Free is to be Lost
LXXIV
20 lines
These New Methods
LXXVI
34 lines
Your Mirror
LXXVII
29 lines
I'll Rob you by Paying you No More
LXXIX
27 lines
Fuck
LXXX
One should Live for One's Epitaph
LXXXI
20 lines
You've Bloodied my Cheeks
LXXXII
27 lines
How do you Think of Time? Is it being Gained or Lost?
XXXIX
29 lines
You Refused to Share my Taste
XL
26 lines
If only I could but Feel
XLI
28 lines
How Lost in Old Love am I
XLII
25 lines
When I Replace you with Another
XLIII
26 lines
I would Happily Catch You
XLIV
32 lines
Hunting Death but only Hitting Melancholy
XLV
My Eyes and Heart
XLVI
27 lines
The Far Love we Share
XLVII
22 lines
You Push me to the Left of my Lies
XLVIII
28 lines
Gravity will have a Reason to be Restored
XLIX
26 lines
Love is a slow delight
LI
23 lines
I'll Give Myself Hope
LII
29 lines
There is always a Shadow
LIII
20 lines
There will be no Roses for You
LIV
23 lines
Death will take Notice
LV
26 lines
Oh the Days I Invested
LVI
35 lines
Oh to be a Slave
LVII
30 lines
What Goddess would not Want
LVIII
32 lines
What could I have Known Before?
LIX
23 lines
Hope is True
LX
30 lines
When I See your Greens, My Blues End
LXI
23 lines
I have to Masturbate
LXII
27 lines
I'd Stopped Thinking altogether of Love
LXIII
This Moment came and took my Brother
LXIV
21 lines
Rage can be Beautiful, But only Stronger than a Flower
LXV
24 lines
We will Hold on to What we Had
LXVII
28 lines
If Art Speaks with Authority, Can Madness not be a Skill?
LXVI
25 lines
My Face is a Map of Time
LXVIII
24 lines
I Believe in a Common Belief
LXIX
24 lines
What you're Accused of is not your Greatest Defect
LXX
27 lines
No Need to Cry at my Passing
LXXI
20 lines
We Read off the Weight of the World
LXXII
20 lines
I see You
LXXIII
31 lines
To be Free is to be Lost
LXXIV
20 lines
These New Methods
LXXVI
34 lines
Your Mirror
LXXVII
29 lines
I'll Rob you by Paying you No More
LXXIX
27 lines
Fuck
LXXX
One should Live for One's Epitaph
LXXXI
20 lines
You've Bloodied my Cheeks
LXXXII
27 lines
42 poems · 4 readable here · 38 not shown here
Part IV. Loving
Loving again.
I Invoke my Muse
LXXVIII
15 lines
A New World Broad with Hope
LXXXIII
Who could Limit Themselves?
LXXXIV
16 lines
I cannot but Fear my Desire
LXXXV
27 lines
My Candle
LXXXVI
26 lines
Goodbye!
LXXXVII
When you're Willing to be set Afire
LXXXVIII
20 lines
You could Leave me in the Midst of my Shit
LXXXIX
23 lines
If You'll ever Hate me, Hate me Now
XC
9 poems · 3 readable here · 6 not shown here
Part V. Rebelling
Rebelling and backsliding into anger.
Some Glories are Born
XCI
27 lines
I want You
XCII
23 lines
So I'm going to live!
XCIII
28 lines
The Others Require
XCIV
26 lines
It could Happen
XCV
27 lines
You are a Wonder
XCVI
32 lines
How Life still Feels like Winter
XCVII
18 lines
I Missed Half of Spring
XCVIII
24 lines
Violets are Quick to Censure
XCIX
27 lines
Give in to Love, Faster than Time Flies
C
Answer me my Love
CI
28 lines
The Stronger it Grew, the Less my Love was Encouraged
CII
22 lines
How Poor she Seems, my Muse
CIII
19 lines
I will stay Young
CIV
23 lines
These Three Points
CV
27 lines
Lost are the most Beautiful Souls
CVI
27 lines
When the Judges Judge
CVII
24 lines
Trading the Dust of one Life for the Rubble of Another
CVIII
28 lines
My Essence Rules all but You
CIX
30 lines
I can Savor this Sweet Love
CX
26 lines
Be Patient my Love
CXI
23 lines
See?
CXII
27 lines
I can see inside my Head
CXIII
24 lines
Your Love has Taught me Magic
CXIV
27 lines
These Lines are Lies before I even Write Them
CXV
28 lines
Love is not Subject to the Cycles
CXVI
27 lines
You will never Forget
CXVII
27 lines
Our Appetites are Sharper
CXVIII
27 lines
Good is Made Better by Evil, Love is Made Stronger by Loss
CXIX
I Ransomed my Life to be Free from Hers
CXX
I Know who I am, my Abuses Explainable
CXXI
27 lines
Your Gift
CXXII
22 lines
I Pledge to Always be True
CXXIII
25 lines
How can we Invite Together All whom Fashion Calls?
CXXIV
25 lines
34 poems · 3 readable here · 31 not shown here
Part VI. Accepting
Accepting and enjoying love as it is.
Take my Hand, Empty, but Unshackled
CXXV
You Swell against my Tongue
CXXVI
34 lines
My Black Soul will be Reborn
CXXVII
26 lines
How many Times?
CXXVIII
31 lines
To Reject this Heaven would be to Live in Hell
CXXIX
You Swell against my Tongue
CXXVI
34 lines
My Black Soul will be Reborn
CXXVII
26 lines
How many Times?
CXXVIII
31 lines
To Reject this Heaven would be to Live in Hell
CXXIX
5 poems · 2 readable here · 3 not shown here