Part I. Sensing

Enormous Creatures

Shakespeare's Sonnet I → Transbliterated (001)

Shakespeare

From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:
But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content
And, tender churl, mak'st waste in niggarding.
  Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
  To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.

Transbliteration

Enormous creatures augment my desire
	The merely beautiful bore me to death
		Whose mothers live between
			An easy life
			And a memory to be
But you
	Your desire
		Trapped in brilliant eyes
			A light by which I could live forever
You feed on some hidden abundance
	An enemy's treasure
		Candy
			An edible garter 'round the world

I alone call you out
	Yank the truth from your throat
	Suck your vomit
	Tell the world
		Here is your glutton!
So I can eat the remains
	Hidden 'neath your gravestone
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet I and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

Some of this poem's lines are worked examples in the judge's rubric, so they were labeled in advance.

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem walks through Sonnet I nearly line by line, keeping its eyes, light, feeding, enemy, world, glutton and grave, but drops the plea for children and turns gentle reproach into desire and aggression. The Spanish supplied several turns: aumentan became augment, sólo … llamativas a calling out, residuos vomit, and yo put the speaker at the eating.

The sonnet
The beautiful young man should have children so his beauty outlives him, instead of hoarding himself and consuming what he owes the world.
Argument kept
1 of 4
Feeling
the young man −1 → the addressee −2 (intensified)
Spoken to
the young man → a desired, self-absorbed you
Translation
adequacy 1.5 · fluency 1.2 · chrF 52. Only the famine-amid-abundance line and scraps of imagery survive. The argument for having children is lost from the first line, and the couplet's warning collapses.
Judge
medium confidence · free-standing

lift 0.23 aligned 57% (chance 10%) order 0.89 verbatim 0% Spanish look-alikes 4% (chance 1%)left in English 3%

Sonnet I, with its Spanish

  1. S1From fairest creatures we desire increase, Criaturas de la más hermosa que aumentan el deseo, adequacy 1 · fluency 2 · role swap · grammar
  2. S2That thereby beauty's rose might never die, Que la belleza lo que se elevó nunca puede morir, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  3. S3But as the riper should by time decease, Pero a medida que madura debe por fallecimiento del tiempo, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · role swap · grammar
  4. S4His tender heir might bear his memory: Su heredero licitación llevando su memoria: adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  5. S5But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, Pero tú, en tu propia prudencia contratado para los ojos brillantes, adequacy 1 · fluency 2 · archaic misread · addition
  6. S6Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel, Feed'st llama light'st tu auto con combustible sustancial, adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · untranslated · wrong sense · grammar
  7. S7Making a famine where abundance lies, Hacer una hambruna donde la abundancia se encuentra, adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · grammar
  8. S8Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel: A ti mismo tu enemigo, a tu dulce auto demasiado cruel. adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  9. S9Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament, Tú que el arte ahora ornamento dulce del mundo adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · archaic misread · wrong sense · grammar
  10. S10And only herald to the gaudy spring, Y sólo a anunciar la primavera llamativas, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  11. S11Within thine own bud buriest thy content, Dentro de tu propio contenido buriest tu capullo adequacy 0 · fluency 1 · untranslated · archaic misread · role swap
  12. S12And tender churl mak'st waste in niggarding: Y, la oferta de villano, haces de residuos en niggarding. adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · untranslated · wrong sense · grammar
  13. S13Pity the world, or else this glutton be, ¡Ay del mundo, o bien este se glotón, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  14. S14To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee. Para comer el mundo debido, junto a la tumba y yo. adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · role swap · grammar

Transbliteration

  1. P1Enormous creatures augment my desire S1 · spanish-echo · via cognate «aumentan el deseo» — beauty wanting increase becomes size exciting the speaker
  2. P2The merely beautiful bore me to death S2 · inverted
  3. P3Whose mothers live between S3 · spanish-echo · via sound «madura» — the riper generation as mothers; madura heard as mother
  4. P4An easy life S4 · transformed — tender taken as soft, easy
  5. P5And a memory to be S4 · transformed
  6. P6But you S5 · verbatim — the whole line survives, thou to you
  7. P7Your desire S5 · modernized — self-love split across P7 and P8
  8. P8Trapped in brilliant eyes S5 · modernized · via cognate «brillantes»
  9. P9A light by which I could live forever S6 · spanish-echo · via untranslated «light'st»
  10. P10You feed on some hidden abundance S6,7 · spanish-echo · via untranslated «Feed'st» — famine dropped; he now feeds on the abundance
  11. P11An enemy's treasure S8 · spanish-echo · via cognate «tu enemigo»
  12. P12Candy S8 · transformed — sweet as adjective becomes a sweet
  13. P13An edible garter 'round the world S9 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «ornamento dulce del mundo» — fresh rendered dulce, so the ornament turns edible
  14. P14I alone call you out T10 · spanish-echo · via sound «sólo … llamativas»
  15. P15Yank the truth from your throat S11 · transformed — what is buried within gets pulled out
  16. P16Suck your vomit T12 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «residuos»
  17. P17Tell the world S13 · transformed
  18. P18Here is your glutton! S13 · transformed
  19. P19So I can eat the remains S14 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «Para comer … yo» — thee became yo, so the speaker eats
  20. P20Hidden 'neath your gravestone S14 · transformed

Inversions

  • praise-blameS2 → P2darker “That thereby beauty's rose might never die” “The merely beautiful bore me to death”

Through the Spanish

  • cognateT1 → P1 «aumentan el deseo» “Enormous creatures augment my desire”
  • soundT3 → P3 «madura» “Whose mothers live between”
  • cognateT5 → P8 «brillantes» “Trapped in brilliant eyes”
  • untranslatedT6 → P9 «light'st» “A light by which I could live forever”
  • untranslatedT6,7 → P10 «Feed'st» “You feed on some hidden abundance”
  • cognateT8 → P11 «tu enemigo» “An enemy's treasure”
  • mistranslationT9 → P13 «ornamento dulce del mundo» “An edible garter 'round the world”
  • soundT10 → P14 «sólo … llamativas» “I alone call you out”
  • mistranslationT12 → P16 «residuos» “Suck your vomit”
  • mistranslationT14 → P19 «Para comer … yo» “So I can eat the remains”

Where the translation failed

  • T1 “From fairest creatures we desire increase,” → «Criaturas de la más hermosa que aumentan el deseo,» The opening plea for offspring becomes creatures that increase desire, losing the sonnet's premise.
  • T6 “Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,” → «Feed'st llama light'st tu auto con combustible sustancial,» Archaic verbs left in English and 'self' rendered as a car make the line word salad.
  • T11 “Within thine own bud buriest thy content,” → «Dentro de tu propio contenido buriest tu capullo» Contentment is misread as contents and swapped with the bud, reversing the image.

Watch the process of transbliteration

Two minutes of the sonnet rewriting itself into the poem, one draft at a time, from Shakespeare's opening to the lines on the signs in the garden.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

Sculptures

From line 1: “Enormous creatures augment my desire”
From line 3: “Whose mothers live between An easy life And a memory to be”
From line 4: “But you Your desire Trapped in brilliant conceptual eyes”
From line 5: “desire A light by which I could live forever”
From line 6: “You feed on some hidden abundance An enemy's treasure Candy”
From line 7: “hidden abundance An edible garter 'round the earth”
From line 8: “I alone call you out Yank the truth from your throat Suck your vomit”
From line 9: “I alone Tell the world Here is your glutton!”
From line 10: “So I can eat the remains Hidden beneath your gravestone”