TransbliterationsShakespeare's Sonnets, rewritten

Part III. Recovering

Hunting Death but only Hitting Melancholy

Shakespeare's Sonnet XLV → Transbliterated (072)

Shakespeare

The other two, slight air, and purging fire
Are both with thee, wherever I abide;
The first my thought, the other my desire,
These present-absent with swift motion slide.
For when these quicker elements are gone
In tender embassy of love to thee,
My life, being made of four, with two alone
Sinks down to death, oppress’d with melancholy;
Until life’s composition be recur’d
By those swift messengers return’d from thee,
Who even but now come back again, assur’d,
Of thy fair health, recounting it to me:
    This told, I joy; but then no longer glad,
    I send them back again, and straight grow sad.

Transbliteration

		The other day
			With the air
				Light
			The sun
				Cleansing
	The two of us
		Where no one could fault
	First
		Overthinking
	Then
		Just desire
We slid quickly to the grass
	Touching each other's ground
	Embarrassed by how licit was our love

My life
	Its four quarters
			Two alone
		Hunting death
			But only hitting melancholy
Is a looped film
	With an increasing frame rate

Who has just arrived?
	Again?
	As usual?

A festival of joy
	Which I love so much
	Which I cherish
Leaves me empty

I envy them
	Those who can return to a place they've been before
		Without sadness
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet XLV and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem turns the sonnet's elements and messengers into a remembered afternoon on the grass, then keeps the sonnet's cycle of a life of two elements sinking into melancholy, brief joy and renewed emptiness. The Spanish supplied much of the departure: licit from licitación, hunting from se hunde, a festival from feria, and envy from envío.

The sonnet
The speaker's thought and desire, his air and fire, keep flying to the absent beloved, leaving his life to sink toward death in melancholy until they return with news of the beloved's health, which cheers him only until he sends them back and grows sad again.
Argument kept
2 of 4
Feeling
the absent beloved −1 → the speaker's lost love −1 (none)
Spoken to
the beloved → narrative
Translation
adequacy 2.3 · fluency 1.4 · chrF 57. The four-elements conceit is partly readable, and the melancholy lines about sinking toward death survive. Its turning points, the swift slide, the tender embassy and the report of fair health, are garbled.
Judge
medium confidence · reworked borrowing

lift 0.29 aligned 50% (chance 9%) order 0.70 verbatim 0% Spanish look-alikes 5% (chance 1%)left in English 0%

Sonnet XLV, with its Spanish

  1. S1The other two, slight air, and purging fire Los otros dos, el aire leve y fuego purga, adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar
  2. S2Are both with thee, wherever I abide; Si es con los dos ti, dondequiera que cumplir; adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · addition · grammar
  3. S3The first my thought, the other my desire, El primero mi pensamiento, el otro mi deseo, adequacy 4 · fluency 4
  4. S4These present-absent with swift motion slide. Estos actual ausente con diapositivas movimiento rápido. adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · grammar
  5. S5For when these quicker elements are gone Para cuando estos elementos se han ido más rápido adequacy 2 · fluency 2 · wrong sense
  6. S6In tender embassy of love to thee, En la embajada de licitación de amor a ti, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense
  7. S7My life, being made of four, with two alone Mi vida, llegando a ser de cuatro, con dos solos adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · wrong sense
  8. S8Sinks down to death, oppress'd with melancholy; Se hunde a la muerte, oprimido por la melancolía; adequacy 4 · fluency 3 · grammar
  9. S9Until life's composition be recur'd Hasta la composición de la vida se recured adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · untranslated · grammar
  10. S10By those swift messengers return'd from thee, Por los veloces mensajeros regresado de ti, adequacy 4 · fluency 2 · grammar
  11. S11Who even but now come back again, assur'd, ¿A quién se acaba de llegar de nuevo, aseguró adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  12. S12Of thy fair health, recounting it to me: De la feria de salud sanos, contando a mí: adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · omission · grammar
  13. S13This told, I joy; but then no longer glad, Esto, dijo, me gozo, pero entonces ya no se contenta, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  14. S14I send them back again, and straight grow sad. Les envío de vuelta y recto entristecerse. adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar

Transbliteration

  1. P1The other day S1 · transformed
  2. P2With the air S1 · transformed
  3. P3Light S1 · sound-echo
  4. P4The sun S1 · transformed
  5. P5Cleansing S1 · modernized
  6. P6The two of us S2 · transformed — elements with thee become the lovers
  7. P7Where no one could fault S2 · transformed
  8. P8First S3 · modernized
  9. P9Overthinking S3 · transformed
  10. P10Then no source · original
  11. P11Just desire S3 · transformed
  12. P12We slid quickly to the grass S4 · transformed
  13. P13Touching each other's ground no source · original
  14. P14Embarrassed by how licit was our love S6 · spanish-echo · via cognate «licitación» — tender rendered licitación (a bid), read as licit
  15. P15My life S7 · modernized
  16. P16Its four quarters S7 · modernized
  17. P17Two alone S7 · modernized
  18. P18Hunting death S8 · spanish-echo · via sound «Se hunde» — hunde (sinks) heard as hunting
  19. P19But only hitting melancholy S8 · transformed
  20. P20Is a looped film S9 · spanish-echo · via untranslated «recured» — recur'd (recovered) read as recurred, repeating
  21. P21With an increasing frame rate no source · original
  22. P22Who has just arrived? S11 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «¿A quién se acaba de llegar» — relative clause turned into a question
  23. P23Again? S11 · transformed
  24. P24As usual? S11 · sound-echo
  25. P25A festival of joy S12,13 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «De la feria» — fair (lovely) rendered feria, a festival
  26. P26Which I love so much S13 · transformed
  27. P27Which I cherish no source · original
  28. P28Leaves me empty S13 · modernized
  29. P29I envy them T14 · spanish-echo · via sound «Les envío» — envío (I send) heard as envy
  30. P30Those who can return to a place they've been before S14 · transformed
  31. P31Without sadness S14 · transformed — others return without the sadness the speaker feels

Through the Spanish

  • cognateT6 → P14 «licitación» “Embarrassed by how licit was our love”
  • soundT8 → P18 «Se hunde» “Hunting death”
  • untranslatedT9 → P20 «recured» “Is a looped film”
  • mistranslationT11 → P22 «¿A quién se acaba de llegar» “Who has just arrived?”
  • mistranslationT12 → P25 «De la feria» “A festival of joy”
  • soundT14 → P29 «Les envío» “I envy them”

Where the translation failed

  • T4 “These present-absent with swift motion slide.” → «Estos actual ausente con diapositivas movimiento rápido.» The elements' gliding motion becomes projector slides, and the line has no verb.
  • T6 “In tender embassy of love to thee” → «En la embajada de licitación de amor a ti» Tender as gentle becomes a commercial tender, turning the love-embassy into a bid.
  • T12 “Of thy fair health, recounting it to me” → «De la feria de salud sanos, contando a mí» The news of the beloved's good health becomes a health fair.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

The poem, line by line

		The other day
			With the air
				Light
			The sun
				Cleansing
Sculpture for: The other day / With the air / Light / The sun / Cleansing
How this image was made
Triggering line
The other day With the air Light The simplified sun Cleansing
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
Drift
  • symbolizing prompt adds "simplified"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	The two of us
		Where no one could fault

Written, not yet carved.

	First
		Overthinking
	Then
		Just desire
Sculpture for: First / Overthinking / Then / Just desire
How this image was made
Triggering line
First Overthinking Then Just desire
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
We slid quickly to the grass
	Touching each other's ground
Sculpture for: We slid quickly to the grass / Touching each other's ground
How this image was made
Triggering line
We slid quickly to the stylized grass Touching each other's ground
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
Drift
  • symbolizing prompt adds "stylized"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	Embarrassed by how licit was our love
Sculpture for: Embarrassed by how licit was our love
How this image was made
Triggering line
We slid quickly to the stylized grass Embarrassed by how licit was our love
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
My life
	Its four quarters
			Two alone
		Hunting death
			But only hitting melancholy
Sculpture for: My life / Its four quarters / Two alone / Hunting death / But only hitting melancholy
How this image was made
Triggering line
My life Its four quarters Two alone Hunting death But only hitting melancholy
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
Is a looped film
	With an increasing frame rate
Sculpture for: Is a looped film / With an increasing frame rate
How this image was made
Triggering line
My life Is a looped film With an increasing frame rate
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "my life"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
Who has just arrived?
	Again?
	As usual?
Sculpture for: Who has just arrived? / Again? / As usual?
How this image was made
Triggering line
a looped film Who has just arrived? Again? As usual?
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "a looped film"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
A festival of joy
	Which I love so much
	Which I cherish
Leaves me empty
Sculpture for: A festival of joy / Which I love so much / Which I cherish / Leaves me empty
How this image was made
Triggering line
A festival of joy Which I love so much Which I cherish simplified Leaves me empty
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
Drift
  • symbolizing prompt adds "simplified"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
I envy them
	Those who can return to a place they've been before
		Without sadness
Sculpture for: I envy them / Those who can return to a place they've been before / Without sadness
How this image was made
Triggering line
I envy them Those who can return to a place they've been before Without sadness
Seed
282236965 · 4 steps
Run
20250519040838_282236965
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Gothic Rasquachismo
Material marble slate
Adjectives imaginative sad
Background Kröller-Müller Museum Sculpture by the Lakes
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs stable position, single quantum entity, strong dynamic pose, non-periodic crystal deviation from original, profound sense of empowerment prevails, electronic component, turbulent fluids, glorious tableau of creation, logical formula, dichotomy paradox
Image qualities extreme long shot, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, dslr camera aesthetic photostrip from a photobooth, maximum texture, mesmerizing shot, point-and-shoot, dslr camera
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden

Sculptures

From line 1: “The other day With the air Light The simplified sun Cleansing”
From line 3: “First Overthinking Then Just desire”
From line 4: “We slid quickly to the stylized grass Touching each other's ground”
From line 5: “We slid quickly to the stylized grass Embarrassed by how licit was our love”
From line 6: “My life Its four quarters Two alone Hunting death But only hitting melancholy”
From line 7: “My life Is a looped film With an increasing frame rate”
From line 8: “a looped film Who has just arrived? Again? As usual?”
From line 9: “A festival of joy Which I love so much Which I cherish simplified Leaves me empty”
From line 10: “I envy them Those who can return to a place they've been before Without sadness”