TransbliterationsShakespeare's Sonnets, rewritten

Part VI. Accepting

To Reject this Heaven would be to Live in Hell

Shakespeare's Sonnet CXXIX → Transbliterated (154)

Shakespeare

The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action: and till action, lust
Is perjur’d, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy’d no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallow’d bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest, to have extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy propos’d; behind a dream.
    All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
    To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

Transbliteration

One taste of your soul makes me jealous
	The luxury of your lust
	The lustfulness of your actions
	The actions of your luxury

I would be a liar
	An Assassin
	A Murderer
		Filled with guilt
	A savage
		RaDiCaL
		Extremist
			Rude cruel and untrusted
	Despised
		Rather than still stiff
	Pursued for my past
		Despite its logic
	Hated for my present
		Regardless of who's swallowed it
Saying you did not make me wild
	Wild to pursue
		To possess you so

	Having you
		Seeking some other height
There is no other flavor to taste
	No trial to try
	No affliction to cure

	Before
		The joys proposed
			Would have been a dream
		I'd have been oblivious
			To any world that realized them
	But now
To reject this heaven
Would be to live in hell
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet CXXIX and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem runs through the sonnet's catalogue of lust almost word for word, but aims it at the beloved and reverses the conclusion: the heaven the sonnet says leads to hell is one the speaker would be in hell to reject. The Spanish supplied luxury from lujuria, the assassin (asesina), the untranslated Savage and swallow'd, stiffness from recta and the speaker's past from el pasado.

The sonnet
Lust in action spends the spirit in shame; before it is savage and untrustworthy, once enjoyed it is despised, a bliss that turns to woe, and though everyone knows this, no one knows how to shun the heaven that leads to this hell.
Argument kept
1 of 4
Feeling
lust −2 → lust +2 (reversed)
Spoken to
general, no addressee → the beloved
Translation
adequacy 2.6 · fluency 1.8 · chrF 55. The opening definition, the catalogue of adjectives and the couplet's heaven and hell survive well. The middle, where lust is hunted and hated past reason, is scrambled by misreading past as the past.
Judge
medium confidence · reworked borrowing

lift 0.27 aligned 50% (chance 8%) order 1.00 verbatim 0% Spanish look-alikes 6% (chance 2%)left in English 2%

Sonnet CXXIX, with its Spanish

  1. S1The expense of spirit in a waste of shame El gasto del alma en un desierto de vergüenza adequacy 3 · fluency 4
  2. S2Is lust in action: and till action, lust ¿Es la lujuria en acción, y hasta la acción, la lujuria adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar
  3. S3Is perjur'd, murderous, bloody, full of blame, Es perjura, asesina, sangrienta, llena de culpa, adequacy 4 · fluency 4
  4. S4Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust; Savage, extrema, grosero, cruel, no a la confianza, adequacy 3 · fluency 1 · untranslated · grammar
  5. S5Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight; Saciado, pero no antes despreciaba recta, adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · grammar
  6. S6Past reason hunted; and no sooner had, razón cazado el pasado, y no bien adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · omission · grammar
  7. S7Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait, Pasado razón odiada, como cebo swallow'd adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · untranslated · wrong sense · grammar
  8. S8On purpose laid to make the taker mad: El objetivo previsto para el tomador de loco; adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  9. S9Mad in pursuit and in possession so; Mad en la búsqueda y en posesión así; adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · untranslated
  10. S10Had, having, and in quest, to have extreme; Si, después de haber, y en busca de tener, extrema; adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  11. S11A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe; Un gozo en la prueba, y demostró, una aflicción muy; adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · archaic misread · grammar
  12. S12Before, a joy propos'd; behind a dream. Antes, una alegría propuesta; atrás, un sueño. adequacy 4 · fluency 3
  13. S13All this the world well knows; yet none knows well Todo esto en el mundo bien sabe, sin embargo, ninguno sabe bien adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar
  14. S14To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell. Para rechazar el cielo que lleva a los hombres a este infierno. adequacy 4 · fluency 3

Transbliteration

  1. P1One taste of your soul makes me jealous S1 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «El gasto del alma» — spirit rendered alma, soul
  2. P2The luxury of your lust S2 · spanish-echo · via cognate «la lujuria» — lujuria read as luxury
  3. P3The lustfulness of your actions S2 · transformed
  4. P4The actions of your luxury S2 · spanish-echo · via cognate «la acción, la lujuria»
  5. P5I would be a liar S3 · transformed — lust's vices become the speaker's
  6. P6An Assassin S3 · spanish-echo · via cognate «asesina»
  7. P7A Murderer S3 · transformed
  8. P8Filled with guilt S3 · transformed
  9. P9A savage S4 · spanish-echo · via untranslated «Savage»
  10. P10RaDiCaL S4 · transformed
  11. P11Extremist S4 · transformed
  12. P12Rude cruel and untrusted S4 · transformed
  13. P13Despised S5 · transformed
  14. P14Rather than still stiff S5 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «despreciaba recta» — straight, at once, rendered recta, upright
  15. P15Pursued for my past S6 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «razón cazado el pasado» — past reason rendered el pasado, the past
  16. P16Despite its logic S6 · transformed
  17. P17Hated for my present S7 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «Pasado razón odiada» — past as time, answered by present
  18. P18Regardless of who's swallowed it S7 · spanish-echo · via untranslated «cebo swallow'd»
  19. P19Saying you did not make me wild S8 · transformed — negated only as the liar's claim
  20. P20Wild to pursue S9 · modernized
  21. P21To possess you so S9 · modernized
  22. P22Having you S10 · transformed
  23. P23Seeking some other height S10 · transformed
  24. P24There is no other flavor to taste S11 · transformed — proof as tasting
  25. P25No trial to try S11 · transformed
  26. P26No affliction to cure S11 · inverted · via cognate «una aflicción»
  27. P27Before S12 · modernized
  28. P28The joys proposed S12 · verbatim
  29. P29Would have been a dream S12 · transformed
  30. P30I'd have been oblivious S13 · inverted — knows turned to oblivious
  31. P31To any world that realized them S13 · transformed
  32. P32But now no source · original
  33. P33To reject this heaven S14 · inverted
  34. P34Would be to live in hell S14 · inverted — hell now lies in shunning, not in the heaven

Inversions

  • hope-despairS11 → P26brighter “a very woe” “No affliction to cure”
  • affirmation-negationS13 → P30darker “the world well knows” “I'd have been oblivious”
  • praise-blameS14 → P33,34brighter “To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell” “To reject this heaven / Would be to live in hell”

Through the Spanish

  • mistranslationT1 → P1 «El gasto del alma» “One taste of your soul makes me jealous”
  • cognateT2 → P2 «la lujuria» “The luxury of your lust”
  • cognateT2 → P4 «la acción, la lujuria» “The actions of your luxury”
  • cognateT3 → P6 «asesina» “An Assassin”
  • untranslatedT4 → P9 «Savage» “A savage”
  • mistranslationT5 → P14 «despreciaba recta» “Rather than still stiff”
  • mistranslationT6 → P15 «razón cazado el pasado» “Pursued for my past”
  • mistranslationT7 → P17 «Pasado razón odiada» “Hated for my present”
  • untranslatedT7 → P18 «cebo swallow'd» “Regardless of who's swallowed it”
  • cognateT11 → P26 «una aflicción» “No affliction to cure”

Where the translation failed

  • T6 “Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,” → «razón cazado el pasado, y no bien» Beyond reason becomes the past, breaking the repeated structure that drives the sonnet.
  • T5 “Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight” → «Saciado, pero no antes despreciaba recta» The instant switch from enjoyment to disgust becomes a straight line.
  • T8 “On purpose laid to make the taker mad” → «El objetivo previsto para el tomador de loco» The bait laid to madden its victim becomes bureaucratic phrasing about a taker.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

The poem, line by line

One taste of your soul makes me jealous
Sculpture for: One taste of your soul makes me jealous
How this image was made
Triggering line
One taste of your soul makes me jealous
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	The luxury of your lust
	The lustfulness of your actions
	The actions of your luxury
I would be a liar
	An Assassin
	A Murderer
		Filled with guilt
	A savage
		RaDiCaL
		Extremist

Written, not yet carved.

			Rude cruel and untrusted
Sculpture for: Rude cruel and untrusted
How this image was made
Triggering line
I would be Rude cruel and untrusted Before I was satisfied
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "i would be"
  • substantive prompt adds "before i was satisfied"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	Despised
		Rather than still stiff
	Pursued for my past
		Despite its logic
Sculpture for: Despised / Rather than still stiff / Pursued for my past / Despite its logic
How this image was made
Triggering line
Despised Rather than still stiff Pursued for my past Despite its logic
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	Hated for my present
		Regardless of who's swallowed it
Sculpture for: Hated for my present / Regardless of who's swallowed it
How this image was made
Triggering line
Hated for my present Regardless of who's swallowed it
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
Saying you did not make me wild
	Wild to pursue
		To possess you so
Sculpture for: Saying you did not make me wild / Wild to pursue / To possess you so
How this image was made
Triggering line
If you did not make me wild Wild to pursue To possess you so
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
Drift
  • substantive "saying" → "if"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	Having you
		Seeking some other height
There is no other flavor to taste
Sculpture for: Having you / Seeking some other height / There is no other flavor to taste
How this image was made
Triggering line
Having you Seeking some other height There is no other flavor to taste
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	No trial to try
	No affliction to cure
Sculpture for: No trial to try / No affliction to cure
How this image was made
Triggering line
No trial to try No affliction to cure
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	Before
		The joys proposed
			Would have been a dream
Sculpture for: Before / The joys proposed / Would have been a dream
How this image was made
Triggering line
Before The joys proposed Would have been a dream
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
		I'd have been oblivious
			To any world that realized them
Sculpture for: I'd have been oblivious / To any world that realized them
How this image was made
Triggering line
I'd have been oblivious To any world that realized them The joys
Seed
492771354 · 4 steps
Run
20250402061803_492771354
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "the joys"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Excessivism stipple
Material polystyrene Parian
Adjectives passionate deceptive, mixing, gaudy, arty, evocative
Background Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Garden waterfront
Time of day mid-afternoon beautifully lit
Adverbs group of atoms, prosperity unfolds, topological circles, turbulent behavior embraced in a dreamlike reality, Silken tessellations of intertwining limbs, event becomes its own cause, Alexander polynomial, micro-wormholes, quasiparticle, Quantum entanglement of bodies in motion, dripping
Image qualities 1/50sec, visual symphony, retro-digital associated press photo, jagged edges, high detailed official artwork, flash-enabled, Kodak Gold 100, beautifully color-coded, 1/50sec, glowing scene, extreme splash animal fucked, cinematic lighting, intracate clothing
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	But now
To reject this heaven
Would be to live in hell

Written, not yet carved.

Sculptures

From line 1: “One taste of your soul makes me jealous”
From line 5: “I would be Rude cruel and untrusted Before I was satisfied”
From line 6: “Despised Rather than still stiff Pursued for my past Despite its logic”
From line 7: “Hated for my present Regardless of who's swallowed it”
From line 8: “If you did not make me wild Wild to pursue To possess you so”
From line 9: “Having you Seeking some other height There is no other flavor to taste”
From line 10: “No trial to try No affliction to cure”
From line 11: “Before The joys proposed Would have been a dream”
From line 12: “I'd have been oblivious To any world that realized them The joys”