TransbliterationsShakespeare's Sonnets, rewritten

Part VI. Accepting

Take my Hand, Empty, but Unshackled

Shakespeare's Sonnet CXXV → Transbliterated (150)

Shakespeare

Were’t aught to me I bore the canopy,
With my extern the outward honouring,
Or laid great bases for eternity,
Which proves more short than waste or ruining?
Have I not seen dwellers on form and favour
Lose all and more by paying too much rent
For compound sweet; forgoing simple savour,
Pitiful thrivers, in their gazing spent?
No; let me be obsequious in thy heart,
And take thou my oblation, poor but free,
Which is not mix’d with seconds, knows no art,
But mutual render, only me for thee.
    Hence, thou suborned informer! a true soul
    When most impeach’d, stands least in thy control.

Transbliteration

If there's anything that will bring me back
		My skin still an homage to appearance
			That foundation for eternity
		If only just short of the ruin that resides within
	Having seen
		Those who live with form and its favor
	Having lost
		Everything and still renting the rest
	Having puked
		All that was sweet
	Having blinked
		As misfortune exploded before me
It is devotion
		To and from
	Your heart

Take my hand
	Empty but unshackled
	Stained but mostly be-spattered
Shaped best
	To fit your own

May our
	Silly
	Informed
	Humble
	True
Souls blossom
	In each others' care
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet CXXV and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem keeps the sonnet's argument in order (outward homage, foundations for eternity, those who lose all on form and favour, then a poor but free offering of mutual devotion) with a cruder, bodily vocabulary, a stained rather than pure offering, and a close that turns the dismissal of the informer into a blessing on informed, true souls. The Spanish contributed little beyond homenaje as homage.

The sonnet
Outward shows of honour mean nothing, and those who court appearances lose everything, so the speaker offers the beloved a plain, unmixed, mutual devotion and dismisses the informer, since a true soul is beyond his control.
Argument kept
3 of 4
Feeling
the beloved +1 → the beloved +2 (none)
Spoken to
the beloved, then an informer → the beloved
Translation
adequacy 1.7 · fluency 1.4 · chrF 44. Only the offer of a poor but free oblation in lines nine and ten comes through. The opening questions about outward show and the couplet's defiance of the informer are unreadable.
Judge
medium confidence · free-standing

lift 0.20 aligned 43% (chance 8%) order 1.00 verbatim 0% Spanish look-alikes 7% (chance 1%)left in English 4%

Sonnet CXXV, with its Spanish

  1. S1Were't aught to me I bore the canopy, Si No algo que me llevé el dosel, adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · archaic misread · grammar
  2. S2With my extern the outward honouring, Con mi extern el homenaje hacia el exterior, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · untranslated · grammar
  3. S3Or laid great bases for eternity, O grandes bases establecidas para la eternidad, adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · omission
  4. S4Which proves more short than waste or ruining? ¿Qué ser más corto que los residuos o arruinar? adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  5. S5Have I not seen dwellers on form and favour ¿No he visto los habitantes en la forma y el favor adequacy 2 · fluency 2 · grammar
  6. S6Lose all and more by paying too much rent Perder todo, y más, mediante el pago de alquiler demasiado, adequacy 4 · fluency 3 · grammar
  7. S7For compound sweet; forgoing simple savour, Para el compuesto olor grato simple renuncia, adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · grammar
  8. S8Pitiful thrivers, in their gazing spent? Lamentable que sobresalen, en su mirada pasó? adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · grammar
  9. S9No; let me be obsequious in thy heart, No, déjame ser obsequioso en tu corazón, adequacy 3 · fluency 4 · archaic misread
  10. S10And take thou my oblation, poor but free, Y toma tú mi oblación, pobre pero libre, adequacy 4 · fluency 4
  11. S11Which is not mix'd with seconds, knows no art, Lo cual no es mix'd con segundos, no conoce el arte, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · untranslated · wrong sense
  12. S12But mutual render, only me for thee. Pero hacen mutua, sólo a mí para ti. adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · wrong sense · grammar
  13. S13Hence, thou suborned informer! a true soul Por lo tanto, informante suborn'd tú! una verdadera alma adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · archaic misread · untranslated · grammar
  14. S14When most impeach'd, stands least in thy control. Cuando la mayoría de impeach'd es como mínimo en el control de tu. adequacy 0 · fluency 0 · untranslated · wrong sense · grammar

Transbliteration

  1. P1If there's anything that will bring me back S1 · transformed — aught → anything, bore → bring
  2. P2My skin still an homage to appearance S2 · modernized · via cognate «el homenaje hacia el exterior» — homenaje → homage; extern → skin
  3. P3That foundation for eternity S3 · modernized
  4. P4If only just short of the ruin that resides within S4 · transformed
  5. P5Having seen S5 · modernized
  6. P6Those who live with form and its favor S5 · verbatim
  7. P7Having lost S6 · modernized
  8. P8Everything and still renting the rest S6 · transformed
  9. P9Having puked S7 · transformed — surfeit of compound sweets → vomiting
  10. P10All that was sweet S7 · transformed
  11. P11Having blinked S8 · transformed
  12. P12As misfortune exploded before me S8 · transformed
  13. P13It is devotion S9 · modernized — obsequious → devotion
  14. P14To and from S12 · transformed
  15. P15Your heart S9 · modernized
  16. P16Take my hand S10 · transformed
  17. P17Empty but unshackled S10 · modernized
  18. P18Stained but mostly be-spattered S11 · inverted — unmixed purity → stained
  19. P19Shaped best S12 · transformed
  20. P20To fit your own S12 · transformed
  21. P21May our no source · original
  22. P22Silly no source · original
  23. P23Informed S13 · transformed — the banished informer → our informed souls
  24. P24Humble no source · original
  25. P25True S13 · modernized
  26. P26Souls blossom S13 · transformed
  27. P27In each others' care S14 · transformed — the informer's control → each other's care

Inversions

  • otherS11 → P18darker “not mix'd with seconds” “Stained but mostly be-spattered”

Through the Spanish

  • cognateT2 → P2 «el homenaje hacia el exterior» “My skin still an homage to appearance”

Where the translation failed

  • T14 “When most impeach'd, stands least in thy control.” → «Cuando la mayoría de impeach'd es como mínimo en el control de tu.» The final claim that a true soul, when most accused, is least in the informer's power is unrecoverable.
  • T13 “Hence, thou suborned informer!” → «Por lo tanto, informante suborn'd tú!» 'Hence' as 'begone' becomes 'therefore', so the dismissal of the informer is lost.
  • T1 “Were't aught to me I bore the canopy,” → «Si No algo que me llevé el dosel,» The opening rhetorical question about outward honour collapses into fragments.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

The poem, line by line

If there's anything that will bring me back
Sculpture for: If there's anything that will bring me back
How this image was made
Triggering line
If there's anything that will bring me back
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
		My skin still an homage to appearance
Sculpture for: My skin still an homage to appearance
How this image was made
Triggering line
My skin still an homage to appearance
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
			That foundation for eternity

Written, not yet carved.

		If only just short of the ruin that resides within
Sculpture for: If only just short of the ruin that resides within
How this image was made
Triggering line
If only just short of the ruin that resides within
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
	Having seen
		Those who live with form and its favor
Sculpture for: Having seen / Those who live with form and its favor
How this image was made
Triggering line
Having seen Those who live with form And its favor
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
	Having lost
		Everything and still renting the rest
Sculpture for: Having lost / Everything and still renting the rest
How this image was made
Triggering line
Having lost Everything And still renting the rest
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
	Having puked
		All that was sweet
Sculpture for: Having puked / All that was sweet
How this image was made
Triggering line
Having puked All that was sweet
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
	Having blinked
		As misfortune exploded before me

Written, not yet carved.

It is devotion
		To and from
	Your heart
Sculpture for: It is devotion / To and from / Your heart
How this image was made
Triggering line
It is devotion To From Your emblematic heart
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
Take my hand
	Empty but unshackled

Written, not yet carved.

	Stained but mostly be-spattered
Sculpture for: Stained but mostly be-spattered
How this image was made
Triggering line
Take my emblematic hand Stained But mostly be-spattered
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
Drift
  • substantive prompt adds "take my emblematic hand"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
Shaped best
	To fit your own
Sculpture for: Shaped best / To fit your own
How this image was made
Triggering line
my emblematic hand Shaped best To fit your own
Seed
1802044234 · 4 steps
Run
20250401054454_1802044234
Drift
  • substantive prompt adds "my emblematic hand"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period Tonalism New Objectivity
Adjectives tragic, interpretive, musical amused, vivid, cryptically, curved pattern, psychic, deceptive, personable, nauseating
Background Sacro Bosco sculpture park outdoor gallery
Time of day late afternoon late afternoon
Adverbs distinction between reality, planck scale, metamorphosis of structure and balance prosperity unfolds, gravitational mass, laughingly, stable position, gödel's incompleteness theorems
Image qualities hyper detailed, 35mm, sharp features extreme wide shot, retro-digital, nikon d850, OM-D E-M5 Mark III, very detailed, Fujifilm Pro 400H, landscape, Anscochrome, 1/50sec, contrasting softness, exquisite details, a powerful scene, detailed, studio light, sharp edges
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden
Material blown glass 
May our
	Silly
	Informed
	Humble
	True
Souls blossom
	In each others' care

Written, not yet carved.

Sculptures

From line 1: “If there's anything that will bring me back”
From line 2: “My skin still an homage to appearance”
From line 4: “If only just short of the ruin that resides within”
From line 5: “Having seen Those who live with form And its favor”
From line 6: “Having lost Everything And still renting the rest”
From line 7: “Having puked All that was sweet”
From line 9: “It is devotion To From Your emblematic heart”
From line 11: “Take my emblematic hand Stained But mostly be-spattered”
From line 12: “my emblematic hand Shaped best To fit your own”