TransbliterationsShakespeare's Sonnets, rewritten

Part II. Knowing

We had Solved the Two-body Problem

Shakespeare's Sonnet XXXII → Transbliterated (057)

Shakespeare

If thou survive my well-contented day,
When that churl Death my bones with dust shall cover
And shalt by fortune once more re-survey
These poor rude lines of thy deceased lover,
Compare them with the bett’ring of the time,
And though they be outstripp’d by every pen,
Reserve them for my love, not for their rhyme,
Exceeded by the height of happier men.
O! then vouchsafe me but this loving thought:
‘Had my friend’s Muse grown with this growing age,
A dearer birth than this his love had brought,
To march in ranks of better equipage:
    But since he died and poets better prove,
    Theirs for their style I’ll read, his for his love’.

Transbliteration

Your sunshine supervised my happiness
	But a villain moon came between us
		My bones grew cold
			Crackled and splintered

	You would do well
		To ponder the future
He does not revolve around you

	But me
		Facing you always
It was I
	Who saw you as my center

We had solved the two-body problem
But the lines of gravitation
	Were false
	Falling into unknown wells

The energy needed
	For the betterment of Time
		Or to outrun it
Would take all
	Of Mankind's Joy
To carve out a Universe
	Good for Lovers

If my friend the Muse could give birth
	To an age
	To a Love
		More dear
			Than the one that betrayed me
		Better equipped
			To play together
			To deal with death
A poet would be born
	Whose style could again speak of Love
		With Love
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet XXXII and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem turns the sonnet's thoughts on outliving the speaker into an orbital romance of sun, moon and gravitation broken by betrayal, and only in its last stanza returns to the Muse, a dearer birth, better equipage and a poet whose style speaks of love. The Spanish lent villain, ponder, revolve and falling (from villano, pondrás, volver and fallecido), left outstripp'd standing, and turned the friend's Muse into the friend who is the Muse.

The sonnet
If the beloved outlives the speaker and rereads his poor verses beside better poets, let them be kept for the love in them rather than their style.
Argument kept
1 of 4
Feeling
the beloved +1 → the beloved −1 (reversed)
Spoken to
the beloved → the beloved
Translation
adequacy 2.1 · fluency 1.6 · chrF 54. The situation, a dead poet asking to be read for love, can be pieced together. But the pens, the equipage and the closing contrast of style against love are mangled.
Judge
medium confidence · free-standing

lift 0.19 aligned 50% (chance 11%) order 1.00 verbatim 0% Spanish look-alikes 12% (chance 1%)left in English 1%

Sonnet XXXII, with its Spanish

  1. S1If thou survive my well-contented day, Si tú eres mi día sobreviven bien contento, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · addition · grammar
  2. S2When that churl Death my bones with dust shall cover Cuando esa muerte villano mis huesos de polvo cubrirá, adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar
  3. S3And shalt by fortune once more re-survey Y pondrás por fortuna, una vez más volver a la encuesta adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · archaic misread · wrong sense · grammar
  4. S4These poor rude lines of thy deceased lover, Estas líneas de pobres grosero amante fallecido tu adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  5. S5Compare them with the bett'ring of the time, Comparar con el mejoramiento del tiempo, adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · omission · grammar
  6. S6And though they be outstripp'd by every pen, Y aunque sean outstripp'd por todos los corrales, adequacy 1 · fluency 2 · untranslated · wrong sense
  7. S7Reserve them for my love, not for their rhyme, Reserva de ellos por mi amor, no por su rima, adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar
  8. S8Exceeded by the height of happier men. Superado por la altura de los hombres más felices. adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · grammar
  9. S9O! then vouchsafe me but this loving thought: O, entonces me concede, pero este pensamiento amoroso: adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  10. S10'Had my friend's Muse grown with this growing age, "Si mi amigo Musa crecido con esta edad de crecimiento, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · omission · grammar
  11. S11A dearer birth than this his love had brought, Un nacimiento más caro que este había traído su amor, adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · wrong sense
  12. S12To march in ranks of better equipage: Cuando se marcha en filas de una mejor equipaje: adequacy 1 · fluency 2 · wrong sense · archaic misread · grammar
  13. S13But since he died and poets better prove, Pero desde que murió y los poetas mejor probar, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  14. S14Theirs for their style I'll read, his for his love'. La suya por su estilo voy a leer, su por su amor. " adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · omission · grammar

Transbliteration

  1. P1Your sunshine supervised my happiness S1 · sound-echo — survive heard as supervised; contented as happiness
  2. P2But a villain moon came between us S2 · spanish-echo · via cognate «esa muerte villano» — churl rendered villano, read as villain
  3. P3My bones grew cold S2 · transformed
  4. P4Crackled and splintered no source · original
  5. P5You would do well no source · original
  6. P6To ponder the future S3 · spanish-echo · via cognate «pondrás por fortuna» — pondrás read as ponder; fortune heard as future
  7. P7He does not revolve around you T3 · spanish-echo · via cognate «una vez más volver» — volver (return) read as revolve
  8. P8But me no source · original
  9. P9Facing you always no source · original
  10. P10It was I no source · original
  11. P11Who saw you as my center no source · original
  12. P12We had solved the two-body problem no source · original
  13. P13But the lines of gravitation S4 · transformed — lines of verse become lines of force
  14. P14Were false no source · original
  15. P15Falling into unknown wells T4 · spanish-echo · via sound «fallecido» — fallecido (deceased) heard as falling
  16. P16The energy needed no source · original
  17. P17For the betterment of Time S5 · transformed
  18. P18Or to outrun it S6 · spanish-echo · via untranslated «outstripp'd»
  19. P19Would take all no source · original
  20. P20Of Mankind's Joy S8 · transformed
  21. P21To carve out a Universe no source · original
  22. P22Good for Lovers S7 · transformed
  23. P23If my friend the Muse could give birth S10,11 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «Si mi amigo Musa» — friend's Muse became the friend who is the Muse
  24. P24To an age S10 · transformed
  25. P25To a Love S11 · transformed
  26. P26More dear S11 · modernized
  27. P27Than the one that betrayed me no source · original
  28. P28Better equipped S12 · transformed
  29. P29To play together no source · original
  30. P30To deal with death S13 · transformed
  31. P31A poet would be born S13 · transformed
  32. P32Whose style could again speak of Love S14 · transformed — style and love, kept apart in the sonnet, now joined
  33. P33With Love S14 · transformed

Through the Spanish

  • cognateT2 → P2 «esa muerte villano» “But a villain moon came between us”
  • cognateT3 → P6 «pondrás por fortuna» “To ponder the future”
  • cognateT3 → P7 «una vez más volver» “He does not revolve around you”
  • soundT4 → P15 «fallecido» “Falling into unknown wells”
  • untranslatedT6 → P18 «outstripp'd» “Or to outrun it”
  • mistranslationT10,11 → P23 «Si mi amigo Musa» “If my friend the Muse could give birth”

Where the translation failed

  • T6 “outstripp'd by every pen” → «outstripp'd por todos los corrales» The rival poets' pens become livestock pens, and the verb is left in English.
  • T14 “Theirs for their style I'll read, his for his love” → «La suya por su estilo voy a leer, su por su amor.» The couplet's contrast between the better poets and the dead friend disappears into ambiguous possessives.
  • T3 “shalt by fortune once more re-survey” → «pondrás por fortuna, una vez más volver a la encuesta» Rereading the poems becomes putting something back to a survey.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

The poem, line by line

Your sunshine supervised my happiness
	But a villain moon came between us

Written, not yet carved.

		My bones grew cold
			Crackled and splintered
Sculpture for: My bones grew cold / Crackled and splintered
How this image was made
Triggering line
My abstract bones grew cold Crackled and splintered
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
Drift
  • symbolizing prompt adds "abstract"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	You would do well
		To ponder the future
He does not revolve around you

Written, not yet carved.

	But me
		Facing you always
It was I
	Who saw you as my center
Sculpture for: But me / Facing you always / It was I / Who saw you as my center
How this image was made
Triggering line
But me Facing you always It was I Who saw you as my center
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
We had solved the two-body problem
But the lines of gravitation
	Were false

Written, not yet carved.

	Falling into unknown wells
Sculpture for: Falling into unknown wells
How this image was made
Triggering line
lines of gravitation Falling into unknown implied wells
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "lines of gravitation"
  • symbolizing prompt adds "implied"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
The energy needed
	For the betterment of Time
		Or to outrun it
Sculpture for: The energy needed / For the betterment of Time / Or to outrun it
How this image was made
Triggering line
The energy needed For the betterment of Time Or to outrun it
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
Would take all
	Of Mankind's Joy
To carve out a Universe
	Good for Lovers

Written, not yet carved.

If my friend the Muse could give birth
	To an age
Sculpture for: If my friend the Muse could give birth / To an age
How this image was made
Triggering line
If my friend the Muse Could give birth To a Love More dear
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
Drift
  • substantive "an age" → "a love more dear"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
	To a Love
		More dear
			Than the one that betrayed me
Sculpture for: To a Love / More dear / Than the one that betrayed me
How this image was made
Triggering line
Muse Could give birth To a Love More dear Than the one that betrayed me
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "muse could give birth"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
		Better equipped
			To play together
Sculpture for: Better equipped / To play together
How this image was made
Triggering line
Muse Could give birth To an age Better equipped To play together
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "muse could give birth to an age"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
			To deal with death
Sculpture for: To deal with death
How this image was made
Triggering line
Muse Could give birth To an age To deal with death
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
Drift
  • anchor prompt adds "muse could give birth to an age"
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden 
A poet would be born
	Whose style could again speak of Love
		With Love
Sculpture for: A poet would be born / Whose style could again speak of Love / With Love
How this image was made
Triggering line
A poet would be born Whose style could again speak of Love With Love
Seed
1820906805 · 4 steps
Run
20250212055135_1820906805
CLIP the short prompt T5 the long prompt
Art period historical painting Cubism
Material sandstone stucco
Adjectives universal, stimulating, existing for a brief moment visionary, devastating, deceptive, gifted, coalesce, monumental
Background Donum Estate beautiful location
Time of day mid-afternoon
Adverbs partially constrained, cruelly somber scene, symphony of evolution and transformation, stable configurations
Image qualities award-winning, dslr camera 32k UHD, Anscochrome, perfect lighting, 2019, depth of field, smooth, Synthspirited Vision, cartridge-loaded, national geographic
Shape sculpture garden sculpture garden

Sculptures

From line 2: “My abstract bones grew cold Crackled and splintered”
From line 4: “But me Facing you always It was I Who saw you as my center”
From line 6: “lines of gravitation Falling into unknown implied wells”
From line 7: “The energy needed For the betterment of Time Or to outrun it”
From line 10: “If my friend the Muse Could give birth To a Love More dear”
From line 11: “Muse Could give birth To a Love More dear Than the one that betrayed me”
From line 12: “Muse Could give birth To an age Better equipped To play together”
From line 13: “Muse Could give birth To an age To deal with death”
From line 14: “A poet would be born Whose style could again speak of Love With Love”