Part IV. Loving

If You'll ever Hate me, Hate me Now

Shakespeare's Sonnet XC → Transbliterated (115)

Shakespeare

Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now;
Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross,
Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow,
And do not drop in for an after-loss:
Ah! do not, when my heart hath ’scap’d this sorrow,
Come in the rearward of a conquer’d woe;
Give not a windy night a rainy morrow,
To linger out a purpos’d overthrow.
If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last,
When other petty griefs have done their spite,
But in the onset come: so shall I taste
At first the very worst of fortune’s might;
    And other strains of woe, which now seem woe,
    Compar’d with loss of thee, will not seem so.

Transbliteration

If you'll ever hate me
		Hate me now
	Now
		While
			The world has me nailed to a cross
			I am cowed despite my fortune
			I'm still falling from my missteps
			My heart has yet to escape the arena

	But if not
Sneak in
		Please
	Behind my armored woe
Battle the dark wind
	And await the rainy morn
Stay
	And join the revolution

If you don't leave me
	Do not let me wander
		Into my small thick woods
Be there at the gate
	And defy Fortune its worst intention
		Silencing its harp
So I may not lose you
	And so be lost
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet XC and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

Some of this poem's lines are worked examples in the judge's rubric, so they were labeled in advance.

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem follows Sonnet XC line by line, keeping hate me now, the world crossing him, the spite of fortune, the rearguard woe, the windy night and rainy morrow, but reverses the sonnet's plea to be left early and all at once into a plea for the beloved to come in, stay and not leave. The Spanish reinforced those turns: Ven en la trasera drops the do not, Si tú no me abandonas negates the leaving, and a pesar de gives despite.

The sonnet
If the beloved means to leave, let it be now, at the start of the speaker's misfortunes, so the worst comes first and every other sorrow seems slight beside losing the beloved.
Argument kept
1 of 4
Feeling
the beloved −1 → the beloved +1 (reversed)
Spoken to
the beloved → the beloved
Translation
adequacy 1.9 · fluency 1.6 · chrF 58. The plea to be hated now rather than later is hard to follow, and the central 'if you will leave me' is inverted. The windy night image and the couplet's comparison come through.
Judge
medium confidence · reworked borrowing

lift 0.27 aligned 64% (chance 8%) order 0.70 verbatim 9% Spanish look-alikes 2% (chance 1%)left in English 1%

Sonnet XC, with its Spanish

  1. S1Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now; Entonces me odian cuando tú quieras, y si alguna vez, ahora; adequacy 2 · fluency 2 · role swap · grammar
  2. S2Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross, Ahora, mientras el mundo se dobla mis actos para cruzar, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  3. S3Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow, Únete a pesar de la fortuna, me hacen arco, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  4. S4And do not drop in for an after-loss: Y no caer en una después de la pérdida: adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  5. S5Ah! do not, when my heart hath 'scap'd this sorrow, Ah, no, cuando mi corazón "con ámbito de este dolor, adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · archaic misread · wrong sense · grammar
  6. S6Come in the rearward of a conquer'd woe; Ven en la trasera de un ¡ay conquistado; adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  7. S7Give not a windy night a rainy morrow, No des una noche de viento una mañana lluviosa, adequacy 4 · fluency 3 · grammar
  8. S8To linger out a purpos'd overthrow. Para quedarse a cabo un derrocamiento propuesto. adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  9. S9If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last, Si tú no me abandonas, no me dejes pasado, adequacy 0 · fluency 1 · addition · wrong sense
  10. S10When other petty griefs have done their spite, Cuando otras penas menores han hecho su pesar adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · wrong sense
  11. S11But in the onset come: so shall I taste Pero en el inicio llegado, así que voy a probar adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · grammar
  12. S12At first the very worst of fortune's might; Al principio, lo peor de la fuerza de la fortuna, adequacy 4 · fluency 4
  13. S13And other strains of woe, which now seem woe, Y otras cepas de la aflicción, que ahora parecen ¡ay, adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  14. S14Compar'd with loss of thee, will not seem so. En comparación con la pérdida de ti no lo parece. adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · grammar

Transbliteration

  1. P1If you'll ever hate me S1 · verbatim
  2. P2Hate me now S1 · verbatim
  3. P3Now S2 · modernized
  4. P4While S2 · modernized — the conjunction carried over
  5. P5The world has me nailed to a cross S2 · transformed — cross as thwart becomes crucifix
  6. P6I am cowed despite my fortune S3 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «a pesar de la fortuna» — spite of fortune rendered despite fortune
  7. P7I'm still falling from my missteps S4 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «no caer» — drop in (visit) rendered caer, fall
  8. P8My heart has yet to escape the arena S5 · inverted · via mistranslation «con ámbito» — 'scap'd rendered con ámbito, a field or arena
  9. P9But if not S5 · transformed
  10. P10Sneak in S6 · inverted · via mistranslation «Ven en la trasera» — Spanish gives a bare imperative, come in
  11. P11Please S5 · inverted — the plea itself, now to come
  12. P12Behind my armored woe S6 · inverted
  13. P13Battle the dark wind S7 · transformed
  14. P14And await the rainy morn S7 · inverted — a morrow not to be given is now awaited
  15. P15Stay S8 · inverted
  16. P16And join the revolution S8 · transformed
  17. P17If you don't leave me S9 · inverted · via mistranslation «Si tú no me abandonas» — the Spanish itself negates the condition
  18. P18Do not let me wander S9 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «no me dejes pasado» — dejes (leave) read as let
  19. P19Into my small thick woods S10 · transformed
  20. P20Be there at the gate S11 · modernized
  21. P21And defy Fortune its worst intention S12 · transformed — tasting fortune's worst becomes defying it
  22. P22Silencing its harp S13 · transformed — strains heard as music
  23. P23So I may not lose you S14 · transformed
  24. P24And so be lost S14 · transformed

Inversions

  • hope-despairS5 → P8darker “when my heart hath 'scap'd this sorrow” “My heart has yet to escape the arena”
  • affirmation-negationS5,6 → P10,11,12brighter “Ah! do not … / Come in the rearward of a conquer'd woe” “Sneak in / Please / Behind my armored woe”
  • affirmation-negationS7,8 → P14,15brighter “Give not a windy night a rainy morrow, / To linger out” “And await the rainy morn / Stay”
  • affirmation-negationS9 → P17brighter “If thou wilt leave me” “If you don't leave me”

Through the Spanish

  • mistranslationT3 → P6 «a pesar de la fortuna» “I am cowed despite my fortune”
  • mistranslationT4 → P7 «no caer» “I'm still falling from my missteps”
  • mistranslationT5 → P8 «con ámbito» “My heart has yet to escape the arena”
  • mistranslationT6 → P10 «Ven en la trasera» “Sneak in”
  • mistranslationT9 → P17 «Si tú no me abandonas» “If you don't leave me”
  • mistranslationT9 → P18 «no me dejes pasado» “Do not let me wander”

Where the translation failed

  • T9 “If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last” → «Si tú no me abandonas, no me dejes pasado» An added negation turns 'if you will leave me' into 'if you don't leave me', inverting the plea.
  • T5 “when my heart hath 'scap'd this sorrow” → «cuando mi corazón "con ámbito de este dolor» The heart escaping sorrow becomes a heart with scope.
  • T3 “Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow” → «Únete a pesar de la fortuna, me hacen arco» Joining fortune's spite becomes 'despite fortune', and bowing becomes an archery bow.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

Sculptures

From line 1: “If you'll ever hate me Hate me now”
From line 2: “Hate me Now While The world has me nailed to a symoblic cross”
From line 4: “Hate me Now While I'm still falling from my missteps”
From line 5: “Hate me Now While My symoblic heart has yet to escape the representative arena”
From line 6: “But if not hate me Sneak in Please Behind my armored woe”
From line 7: “Battle the dark wind And await the rainy morn”
From line 8: “Stay And join the revolution”
From line 9: “If you don't leave me Do not let me wander Into my small thick symbolic woods”
From line 10: “Be there at the implied gate And defy Fortune its worst intention Silencing its harp”