Part I. Sensing

My Love is like a Fever

Shakespeare's Sonnet CXLVII → Transbliterated (016)

Shakespeare

My love is as a fever longing still,
For that which longer nurseth the disease;
Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,
The uncertain sickly appetite to please.
My reason, the physician to my love,
Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,
Hath left me, and I desperate now approve
Desire is death, which physic did except.
Past cure I am, now Reason is past care,
And frantic-mad with evermore unrest;
My thoughts and my discourse as madmen’s are,
At random from the truth vainly express’d;
    For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,
    Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.

Transbliteration

My love is like a fever
	Always striving
		Starving the symptoms
		Feeding the disease

The appetites of infirmity are sure to famish you
		For this
	The doctor loves me


	Angered by prescriptions he cannot fill
He leaves me desperate to try something
	Even death
		Though not a physical one


	Picking up a cure
Reason pays me no attention
	A frenetic gift
			Each time
		More insane than the last

My thoughts wander
	To confident truths
		Vainly expressed

Could you judge me impartially?
	While remarking on my brilliance?

Are you as black as the flame
	That will burn me to a shadow tonight?
Measured against the sonnet and its Spanish

How this poem's lines relate to Shakespeare's Sonnet CXLVII and to the Google Translate Spanish it was written from. Counts are made by script, and each line's label comes from an AI judge. Sentences in italics are Claude's reading, not the poet's. How it was measured →

Some of this poem's lines are worked examples in the judge's rubric, so they were labeled in advance.

From the English
  • Restated
  • Inverted
  • Transbliterated
  • Original
From the Spanish
  • Faithful
  • Noise
  • Untouched

The poem walks the sonnet nearly line for line, keeping the fever, the departing doctor and the madness, but flips several key words and ends by asking the beloved rather than accusing them. The Spanish supplied the non-physical death (no física), the escalating madness (cada vez más loco), impartial judgment from imparcial, and the closing question.

The sonnet
The speaker's love is a fever that feeds its own disease; abandoned by reason, he is mad, having sworn fair and bright a beloved who is black as hell.
Argument kept
2 of 4
Feeling
the speaker's love −2 → the speaker's love −1 (none)
Spoken to
narrative, then the beloved → narrative, then the beloved
Translation
adequacy 2.0 · fluency 1.6 · chrF 53. The fever image and the reason-as-doctor figure survive, and the final line's darkness comes through. The mad logic of the middle and the couplet's key word 'fair' are lost.
Judge
medium confidence · reworked borrowing

lift 0.26 aligned 79% (chance 6%) order 0.88 verbatim 9% Spanish look-alikes 10% (chance 2%)left in English 2%

Sonnet CXLVII, with its Spanish

  1. S1My love is as a fever longing still, Mi amor es como una fiebre, anhelando todavía adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · archaic misread
  2. S2For that which longer nurseth the disease; Porque lo que ya nurseth la enfermedad, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · untranslated · wrong sense · grammar
  3. S3Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill, La alimentación en ese Que llega preservar los enfermos, adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · archaic misread · wrong sense · grammar
  4. S4The uncertain sickly appetite to please. El apetito enfermizo incierto para el paladar. adequacy 2 · fluency 3 · wrong sense
  5. S5My reason, the physician to my love, Mi razón, el médico a mi amor, adequacy 4 · fluency 3 · grammar
  6. S6Angry that his prescriptions are not kept, Enojado de que sus prescripciones no se mantienen, adequacy 3 · fluency 3 · grammar
  7. S7Hath left me, and I desperate now approve ¿Acaso me dejó, y yo desesperada ya aprobar adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · archaic misread · grammar
  8. S8Desire is death, which physic did except. El deseo es la muerte, que no física, excepto. adequacy 1 · fluency 0 · archaic misread · wrong sense · grammar
  9. S9Past cure I am, now Reason is past care, Pasado soy cura, ahora la razón está más allá de atención, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  10. S10And frantic-mad with evermore unrest; Y frenética-cada vez más loco de los disturbios; adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  11. S11My thoughts and my discourse as madmen's are, Mis pensamientos y mi discurso como locos son, adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar
  12. S12At random from the truth vainly express'd; Al azar de la verdad en vano express'd; adequacy 2 · fluency 1 · untranslated · grammar
  13. S13For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, Porque yo te he jurado imparcial y el pensamiento de ti brillante, adequacy 1 · fluency 1 · wrong sense · grammar
  14. S14Who art as black as hell, as dark as night. ¿Quién eres tan negro como el infierno, tan oscuro como la noche. adequacy 3 · fluency 2 · grammar

Transbliteration

  1. P1My love is like a fever S1 · verbatim
  2. P2Always striving S1 · modernized — still as always; longing as striving
  3. P3Starving the symptoms S3 · inverted — feeding turned to starving; ill as symptoms
  4. P4Feeding the disease S2,3 · modernized
  5. P5The appetites of infirmity are sure to famish you S4 · inverted — uncertain becomes sure; please becomes famish
  6. P6For this no source · original
  7. P7The doctor loves me S5 · transformed
  8. P8Angered by prescriptions he cannot fill S6 · transformed — failure moves from patient to doctor
  9. P9He leaves me desperate to try something S7 · transformed
  10. P10Even death S8 · transformed
  11. P11Though not a physical one S8 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «que no física» — physic rendered as física, physical
  12. P12Picking up a cure S9 · inverted
  13. P13Reason pays me no attention S9 · modernized · via cognate «atención» — care came back as atención
  14. P14A frenetic gift S10 · spanish-echo · via cognate «frenética»
  15. P15Each time T10 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «cada vez más loco» — cada vez más read word for word
  16. P16More insane than the last S10 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «cada vez más loco»
  17. P17My thoughts wander S11,12 · modernized
  18. P18To confident truths S12 · inverted — away from truth becomes toward confident truths
  19. P19Vainly expressed S12 · verbatim · via untranslated «en vano express'd»
  20. P20Could you judge me impartially? S13 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «te he jurado imparcial» — fair as beautiful rendered imparcial
  21. P21While remarking on my brilliance? S13 · spanish-echo · via cognate «brillante» — brightness moves to the speaker
  22. P22Are you as black as the flame S14 · spanish-echo · via mistranslation «¿Quién eres tan negro como el infierno» — relative who read as a question
  23. P23That will burn me to a shadow tonight? S14 · transformed

Inversions

  • otherS3 → P3brighter “Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill” “Starving the symptoms”
  • otherS4 → P5darker “The uncertain sickly appetite to please” “The appetites of infirmity are sure to famish you”
  • hope-despairS9 → P12brighter “Past cure I am” “Picking up a cure”
  • affirmation-negationS12 → P18brighter “At random from the truth” “To confident truths”

Through the Spanish

  • mistranslationT8 → P11 «que no física» “Though not a physical one”
  • cognateT9 → P13 «atención» “Reason pays me no attention”
  • cognateT10 → P14 «frenética» “A frenetic gift”
  • mistranslationT10 → P15 «cada vez más loco» “Each time”
  • mistranslationT10 → P16 «cada vez más loco» “More insane than the last”
  • untranslatedT12 → P19 «en vano express'd» “Vainly expressed”
  • mistranslationT13 → P20 «te he jurado imparcial» “Could you judge me impartially?”
  • cognateT13 → P21 «brillante» “While remarking on my brilliance?”
  • mistranslationT14 → P22 «¿Quién eres tan negro como el infierno» “Are you as black as the flame”

Where the translation failed

  • T13 “For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright” → «Porque yo te he jurado imparcial y el pensamiento de ti brillante» The confession of having sworn the beloved beautiful becomes swearing her impartial.
  • T9 “Past cure I am” → «Pasado soy cura» Being beyond cure becomes being a priest.
  • T8 “Desire is death, which physic did except” → «El deseo es la muerte, que no física, excepto.» Medicine forbidding desire becomes physics and a stray 'except'.

See it in the garden →

Hear it read, and watch it turn

The reading, over an interpolation walk through this rendering's own images: each sculpture arrives on the last word of the lines it answers.

Sculptures

From line 2: “love Starving the symptoms Feeding the disease”
From line 3: “The appetites of infirmity are sure to famish you For this The doctor loves me”
From line 4: “Angered by prescriptions he doctor can't fill”
From line 5: “He doctor leaves me desperate to try something Even death Though not a physical one”
From line 6: “Picking up a cure Reason pays me no attention”
From line 7: “A frenetic gift a cure Each time More insane than the last”
From line 8: “My thoughts wander To confident truths Vainly expressed”
From line 9: “Could you judge me impartially? While remarking on my brilliance?”
From line 10: “Are you as black as the stylized flame That will burn me to a shadow this night?”